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#一頁書英文閱讀 Vanity Card #186

The Big Bang Theory 1-3

生活大爆炸第一季第三集的Vanity Card，講的是"黑色禪"，特別難，專業術語、俚語、口語，所以先用講背景故事：

【緣起 第一季第三集】

Leonard在門口見到Penny和一個大帥哥喇舌，他整個心都碎了

Penny告訴他，那個大帥哥不是男朋友，而是每次放下一段感情，她都會來一場轟轟烈烈的weekend-long casual sex

這次製作人的Chuck Lorre，就是根據這兩點來寫這篇經文，他命名，黑色禪，Zen Noir：

【一頁書 中文大意】

美國個人主義薰陶下長大的孩子，內心非常孤獨，這種文化，強調個人存在，自己以外的什麼事都不重要

他有女朋友，某天深夜，天下著冰雨，他站在女友家樓下，窗裡面演的是女友和另一個男人親熱擁抱

他心中痛苦異常，轉念，這麼不檢點的渣某人(dame)，只為填補自己心靈上的空缺，沉迷於性愛，不要也罷

忽然他笑了，他明白他的痛苦，來自內心深處的孤獨，所以要依賴藥物、看運動比賽、看電視、看電影、追星、殺星... 靠這些美國年輕人的活動才能減輕孤獨帶來的痛苦(Chuck忘了寫手遊)

這樣的頓悟，並不能阻止他拿槍殺人，他恨世人，掏出一把槍，進到屋子裡，襪子緊張到全濕，嘎吱嘎吱的聲音，從他Crocs洞洞鞋跑出來

女友和野男人，會死在他槍下嗎？

【劇情提要 生活大爆炸1-3】

When Leonard sees Penny kissing a man in front of her apartment door, he becomes devastated(非常震驚且傷心), thinking she has "rejected(拒絕)" him.

當Leonard在Penny門前見到她和一個男人接吻，他震驚又傷心，認為自己已經被拒絕

The guys convince(說服) him to ask someone out(跟人約會) at work, so he asks out fellow(同事) scientist Leslie Winkle, who preemptively(先發制人) turns him down(拒絕).

哥兒們說服他找一個工作上的同事約會，所以他約科學家同事Leslie Winkle，但同事先發制人拒絕

As Leonard slips deeper into(陷入) his depression(憂鬱), thinking about buying a cat, Sheldon points out(指明) that he was not actually rejected by Penny, as he had not asked her out.

Leonard陷入更深的憂鬱，打算買貓，Sheldon趕緊指出，Leonard沒有約過Penny，所以不算是真正的被拒絕

Leonard agrees and promptly(立即) asks Penny out to dinner, but she mistakes it as(誤以為) an invitation to hang with(聚會、玩) all the guys, so Leonard makes up excuses(編藉口) as to why the guys were absent.

Leonard覺得有道理，立刻跑去約Penny吃飯，但Penny誤以為是跟大夥一起出來玩，所以Leonard編藉口，為什麼其他人都沒來

On the date, Penny mentions the man Leonard saw was not her boyfriend, but that she has a habit of having weekend-long casual sex(隨意性交) encounters(邂逅) to get over relationships(放掉一段感情).

約會時，Penny提及Leonard見到的那男人並不是她的男朋友，而是她有個習慣，每次要放掉一段感情就會來一場周末隨性邂逅

Excited, Leonard regains(重獲) his confidence, but he accidentally hurts himself and Penny has to take him home.

Leonard非常興奮自己重獲自信，但是不小心受傷，Penny送他回家

In the end, Leonard does not get the courage to reveal(揭露) his true feelings to Penny, even though she suspected(懷疑、猜想) what he was up to(打算、企圖).

故事最後，Leonard還是沒有勇氣揭露自己對Penny的真實感覺，即使Penny早猜想到他想幹啥

【一頁書 Vanity Card #186 中英對照 】

ZEN NOIR (電影「黑色禪」, 2004)

The hardest journey is the one which leads to the truth. I didn't know that when I began my little midnight ramble(散步郊遊).

最艱難的旅程，是把你帶進真實。當我開始我的小小夜遊的時候，我還不懂這道理。

If I had, I probably would've stayed home, drank myself stupid and watched Ferguson until the big nod closed my book for the day.

如果我懂，我當時就會待在家裡，喝個爛醉，看Ferguson(Late Late Show夜夜秀)，直到大瞌睡蟲闔上我的書，一天就過去

But there I was, standing outside her house, looking up at her bedroom window while a cold rain whipped me in the face like I'd somehow pissed it off(惹怒它).

但我站在她家外面，抬頭看她臥室的窗戶，一陣冰雨像鞭子打在我臉上，好像不知道我幾時惹毛它一樣

I could see her kissing him. I could see her as she slowly descended(下降) beneath the window frame.

我見到她親他，我見到她身體慢慢地沉到窗框之下

I could see him too. He just stood there smiling, like the canary(金絲雀) who got eaten by the cat.

我見到他，他站著笑，像一隻被貓吃掉的金絲雀

But then a funny thing happened while I was dancing the voyeuristic(窺淫狂的) bebop(比波普爵士樂) in my terribly trendy(流行), bright-green plastic shoes.

但後來發生好笑的事，我穿著超級時髦的翠綠色膠鞋，跳起窺淫狂人爵士舞

I found myself thinking that the aching loneliness I was feeling had its roots in something much deeper than being eighty-sixed(拋棄、去除，俚語，源自RU-486墮胎藥，把你給86掉！) to a one bedroom efficiency(單身公寓) in the marina(小碼頭) by a dame(查某人、女人，俚語) who digs deep into(埋頭拼命幹) the degrading(失去尊嚴、不要臉的) bang-bang(連續嘿咻, 俚語) in order to make up for(補償) an emotionally distant father(情感疏遠的父親).

我心裡在想，我所感受到的痛苦的孤獨，根源之深，遠遠超過被一個查某人拋棄到小碼頭邊的單身公寓，這女人不要臉的拼命嘿咻，只為了彌補自己對感情疏遠父親的缺憾

No, this was the pain of existential(存在主義的) separateness(分離). The false sense(錯覺) that one is fundamentally(基本上) apart from(區別於) people, things, life, the whole damn universe.

不對，這痛苦來自存在主義分離思想，這思想是種錯覺，以為人在本質上跟其他人事物、生命、還有整個他媽的宇宙是不相干的。

In a blinding flash(忽然間顯而易見, blinding light眩光) I realized that what I was really experiencing was the result of a life-long indoctrination(教化) by a culture which elevates(提升) individualism(個人主義) above all else, thus causing a soul-crushing sense of aloneness which demands over and under the counter medication(非處方籤或地下藥品), the constant distraction(消遣、分散注意) of sporting events, TV, major motion pictures and a pop-tabloid religion(明星八卦教派) based on celebrity worship/crucifixion(名人崇拜或摧殘).

忽然間變得很明顯，我明白我真正歷經的是這輩子一生所受到的教化的結果，我處在的文化是提倡個人主義至上，因此會有折磨靈魂的孤獨，需要服用非處方藥物或地下藥物，或者靠不斷的看運動比賽、電視、大製作電影、明星八卦教-對名人崇拜或摧殘

Of course this epiphany(頓悟、頓悟的時刻) did not deter(阻止) me from pulling the roscoe(手槍, 美國30-40年代俚語) out of my fanny pack(男用霹靂腰包) and going into the house to TC of B(辦事= take care of business，俚語). As I crossed up the stairs(跨上樓梯) I could feel my wet tube socks(長統襪) squishing(嘎吱聲) through the little round holes of my polyurethane(聚氨酯) crocs(卡駱馳洞洞鞋).

當然，這頓悟並沒能夠阻止我掏出霹靂腰包理的手槍，走進一間房子辦事，正當我跨上樓梯的時候，我感覺到自己濕濕的長筒襪，從聚氨酯的卡駱馳洞洞鞋的洞口，發出嘎吱嘎吱的聲音。

【一頁書 Vanity Card #186 原文】

ZEN NOIR

The hardest journey is the one which leads to the truth. I didn't know that when I began my little midnight ramble. If I had, I probably would've stayed home, drank myself stupid and watched Ferguson until the big nod closed my book for the day. But there I was, standing outside her house, looking up at her bedroom window while a cold rain whipped me in the face like I'd somehow pissed it off. I could see her kissing him. I could see her as she slowly descended beneath the window frame. I could see him too. He just stood there smiling, like the canary who got eaten by the cat. But then a funny thing happened while I was dancing the voyeuristic bebop in my terribly trendy, bright-green plastic shoes. I found myself thinking that the aching loneliness I was feeling had its roots in something much deeper than being eighty-sixed to a one bedroom efficiency in the marina by a dame who digs deep into the degrading bang-bang in order to make up for an emotionally distant father. No, this was the pain of existential separateness. The false sense that one is fundamentally apart from people, things, life, the whole damn universe. In a blinding flash I realized that what I was really experiencing was the result of a life-long indoctrination by a culture which elevates individualism above all else, thus causing a soul-crushing sense of aloneness which demands over and under the counter medication, the constant distraction of sporting events, TV, major motion pictures and a pop-tabloid religion based on celebrity worship/crucifixion. Of course this epiphany did not deter me from pulling the roscoe out of my fanny pack and going into the house to TC of B. As I crossed up the stairs I could feel my wet tube socks squishing through the little round holes of my polyurethane crocs.