一頁書英文閱讀 Vanity Card #200 The Big Bang Theory 1-11 @ Verb Master 動詞達人

#一頁書英文閱讀 Vanity Card #200 The Big Bang Theory 1-11

Chuck Lorre的Vanity Card，文筆精煉，遣詞用字兼具古代文學修養和現代草莽精神，相當罕見具有高度文學底子的製作人

這是第200篇Vanity Card，Chuck Lorre發表個人感言，他分析，到底是什麼人會寫這些東西呢？就是他這種孤單無聊的人…

這一篇只有一個詞彙大家可能不明白：second-and-a-half

這個字源自於棒球，second-and-a-half表示離全壘打還遠，在二三壘之間就被夾殺出局，諷刺自己是半調子

美國有一句話，Got the first and a half base，意思是，才剛親到嘴，手腳就不安分，被賞一巴掌出局，死在一二壘之間，如果不懂的可以Google一下

【百世經綸一頁書原文】

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #200

Two hundred vanity cards. I have now amassed a body of work that can safely be called "pointlessly unique." In the history of literary efforts, there has never been a literary effort quite like this one. Okay, literary might be pushing it, but I don't think I'm engaging in hyperbole when I say that it's highly unlikely my achievement will ever be duplicated, let alone surpassed. Why? Well, most show creators who are awarded the hallowed, second-and-a-half, end-of-episode "hey everybody, look at me!" card, have better things to do. Those that have no life (a goodly number), are simply not compelled to vomit up weekly offerings of painfully personal, petty, mock-metaphysical, self-congratulatory, rage-filled, and regretfully sarcastic essays that occasionally haunt them forever. Sure, non-showrunners can write a weekly essay of no particular value. But for it to be considered a true vanity card, it must be attached to the ass end of a television show. And let's keep in mind I've made a lot more shows than vanity cards. There were many weeks on Dharma & Greg and Two and a Half Men when I was too wasted (mostly in the literary sense) to write something coherent. Anyway, I wanted to use this momentous card to celebrate my accomplishment because, well... no one else was jumping up to do it. Two hundred cards! Boy, oh boy, that is really something... Oh God, I'm so lonely.

【清香白蓮一頁書分段重點】

Two hundred vanity cards.

I have now amassed a body of work that can safely be called "pointlessly unique."

In the history of literary efforts, there has never been a literary effort quite like this one.

Okay, literary might be pushing it, but I don't think I'm engaging in hyperbole when I say that it's highly unlikely my achievement will ever be duplicated, let alone surpassed.

Why?

Well, most show creators who are awarded the hallowed, second-and-a-half, end-of-episode "hey everybody, look at me!" card, have better things to do.

Those that have no life (a goodly number), are simply not compelled to vomit up weekly offerings of painfully personal, petty, mock-metaphysical, self-congratulatory, rage-filled, and regretfully sarcastic essays that occasionally haunt them forever.

Sure, non-showrunners can write a weekly essay of no particular value.

But for it to be considered a true vanity card, it must be attached to the ass end of a television show.

And let's keep in mind I've made a lot more shows than vanity cards.

There were many weeks on Dharma & Greg and Two and a Half Men when I was too wasted (mostly in the literary sense) to write something coherent.

Anyway, I wanted to use this momentous card to celebrate my accomplishment because, well... no one else was jumping up to do it.

Two hundred cards!

Boy, oh boy, that is really something...

Oh God, I'm so lonely.

【亂世狂刀一頁書中文註釋】

Two hundred vanity cards.

I have now amassed(積聚) a body of(一大堆) work that can safely be called "pointlessly(空洞地) unique(獨特的)."

In the history of literary(文學的) efforts(努力嘗試做的事), there has never been a literary effort quite like this one.

Okay, literary might be pushing it(太過分), but I don't think I'm engaging in(忙於) hyperbole(誇張語法) when I say that it's highly unlikely my achievement will ever be duplicated(複製), let alone surpassed(超越).

Why?

Well, most show creators who are awarded(受獎賞) the hallowed(神聖的), second-and-a-half(半吊子的), end-of-episode(節目最後的) "hey everybody, look at me!" card, have better things to do.

Those that have no life (a goodly number, 非常大的數量), are simply not compelled(被迫) to vomit up(吐出來) weekly offerings(祭品) of painfully personal, petty(小家子氣的), mock-metaphysical(假玄學的), self-congratulatory(沾沾自喜的), rage-filled(充滿憤怒的), and regretfully(後悔地) sarcastic(諷刺的) essays(短文) that occasionally(三不五時) haunt(縈繞、糾纏) them forever(不斷地).

Sure, non-showrunners(節目負責人) can write a weekly essay of no particular value.

But for it to be considered a true vanity card, it must be attached to(附著、附屬) the ass end(屁股尾巴) of a television show.

And let's keep in mind I've made a lot more shows than vanity cards.

There were many weeks on Dharma & Greg and Two and a Half Men when I was too wasted(爛醉) (mostly in the literary sense, 文學意義上) to write something coherent(相關連貫一致性的).

Anyway, I wanted to use this momentous(非常重要的) card to celebrate my accomplishment because, well... no one else was jumping up to(自告奮勇出來) do it.

Two hundred cards!

Boy, oh boy, that is really something...

Oh God, I'm so lonely.

【黑白郎君一頁書中英對照】

Two hundred vanity cards.

兩百張虛榮卡

I have now amassed(積聚) a body of(一大堆) work that can safely be called "pointlessly(空洞地) unique(獨特的)."

我累積了一大堆成果，謹慎一點稱之為「空洞的罕見珍品」

In the history of literary(文學的) efforts(努力嘗試做的事), there has never been a literary effort quite like this one.

在文學努力作品史裡，沒有一件文學努力作品像這一件

好吧，說文學或許太誇張，但是當我說「我的成就極不可能被複製更別說被超越」的時候，我不認為我用的是文學誇張語法

Why?

怎麼說？

嗯，大多數的創作者，與其受神聖的、半吊子的、節目尾巴的這句話「嘿，各位，照過來」讚賞，不如去做點其它的事

那些沒有正常生活的人(數量非常龐大)就這樣被迫每個星期把祭品吐出來，痛苦親身的、小家子氣的、假玄學的、沾沾自喜的、充滿憤怒的、悔恨諷刺的短文，這些短文三不五時不斷地來糾纏他們

Sure, non-showrunners(節目負責人) can write a weekly essay of no particular value.

當然，非節目負責人每星期可以寫一篇沒有特殊意義的短文

But for it to be considered a true vanity card, it must be attached to(附著、副署) the ass end(屁股尾巴) of a television show.

但是對於被認為是真正的虛榮卡，就必須附在電視節目的尾巴

And let's keep in mind I've made a lot more shows than vanity cards.

而且大家要知道，我製作的節目比我寫的虛榮卡還多

There were many weeks on Dharma & Greg and Two and a Half Men when I was too wasted(爛醉) (mostly in the literary sense, 文學意義上) to write something coherent(相關連貫一致性的).

製作老公老婆不登對和男人兩個半的時候，有好幾個星期我爛醉到沒辦法寫出有一致性的東西(大多只是文學上的爛醉，不是真的爛醉)

Anyway, I wanted to use this momentous(非常重要的) card to celebrate my accomplishment because, well... no one else was jumping up to(自告奮勇出來) do it.

無論怎樣，我希望用這張非常重要的卡片來慶祝我的成就，因為，嗯…，沒有人會跳出來做這件事的

Two hundred cards!

兩百張卡片！

Boy, oh boy, that is really something...

好樣的，喔了不起，這真是了不起…

Oh God, I'm so lonely.

喔天啊，我太孤單了

【The Big Bang Theory 1-11】

The Pancake Batter Anomaly

薄煎餅麵糊的異常

Penny returns from visiting family in Nebraska, but mentions while picking up mail from Leonard that most of her relatives got sick. Sheldon, a germophobe according to Leonard, freaks out and becomes sick, causing his obnoxious personality to increase drastically as he becomes demanding.

Penny從老家Nebraska回來，當她去Leonard那裡拿信的時候，她提起mentions老家親戚relatives幾乎都生病了，Sheldon嚇死了freaks out，據Leonard說，Sheldon是一位有細菌恐懼症的潔癖germophobe，接著Sheldon就生病了，這下讓他討人厭的obnoxious個性更是爆漲drastically，變得很難伺候demanding

Familiar with Sheldon being sick, Leonard and the guys hide from him at a Planet of the Apes series marathon, leaving Penny to take care of Sheldon. However, Leonard breaks his glasses and must re-enter the apartment using help with a web-cam from Howard and Raj. Penny catches him and sticks him with Sheldon. As he tries to escape, he runs into a wall and nearly knocks himself out. In the end, Leonard and Sheldon sit injured and sick on the couch respectively.

得知Familiar with Sheldon生病，Leonard和另外兩位兄弟躲起來，跑去決戰猩球系列追劇marathon，留Penny一個人照顧Sheldon，但是Leonard把眼鏡摔破，必須再跑回家裡，用Howard和Raj的網路攝影機溜進去，Leonard被Penny抓到，把Sheldon這個爛攤子留給他sticks him with Sheldon，當他正打算逃跑，一頭撞進牆，幾乎撞暈knocks himself out，最後，Leonard和Sheldon分別respectively坐在沙發上，一個受傷sit injured，一個生病